"No Fems" Pt 2

June 2014;

You’d be a fool to think I’d let one monkey stop my show! At the same time I was messaging “redbone” I set my search bar in the cities of Atl, NYC, D.C. and my hometown of Memphis, Tennessee. I’ve always marveled over the idea of leaving the city, and coming back to find the love of my life in my beloved hometown.

One of those lonely summer Saturday nights in June, instead of going out club hopping, I opted to spend the evening with a bottle of wine, a face mask, and browsing through Jack’d. This particular evening I was searing through the city of Memphis and instantly after a few scrolls, this thick, handsome chocolate guy caught my eye.

Initiating the conversation with “Hi there handsome” what more could I do but wait for him to respond or just read my message with no reply. Most guys are either intrigued by the distance or intimidated. Surprisingly he responded. I just knew it had to have been the seemingly masculine-prep boy pics that caught his attention.

However it wasn’t! This guy knew who I was! The summer before I visited home to see friends and family and went out to the gay club popping at that time. I remember being dressed in all navy. I wore a navy sheer jumpsuit with sequined short, overlayed with a fluffy tulle skirt, sealed with a 5inch nude pointy toe pump. (I obsessed over pointy toes at that time) The fact that this gentleman described my entire outfit, my actions around the club that night (even reminding me of the fight I almost got into) mean that he was watching ME!

I’m always intrigued of guys impression of me and their shock from when I jump into their inbox as if I’m this untouchable person who has no business engaging in carnal activities. Nevertheless, I was refreshed by the idea that I didn’t have to break down to this guy of my eccentric personal style choices and there was nothing he’d have to be eased into because he’d already seen me in my hometown, and knew my close friends so he had an idea of who I really was.

We shared a few more messages before I felt comfortable enough to give him my number. Boy, did this guy escalate things. He required constant attention, which wasn’t a problem because I was still in the routine of being a boyfriend and being constantly available. I enjoyed those good morning texts, lunch break FaceTime Calls, and pillow talk in the evening.

While keeping my options open because I still was a single guy, I still kept this particular in the highest priority. Answering his every method of communication with nothing short of promptness.

Things were cool from June through August of 2014. At that point, we were officially “talking” but he still had not made it clear to me that I was his, and I really was unsure on if I wanted him to be mine.There were subtle red flags with him that I wanted to dissect before committing to what could be another toxic situation. August had come and I’d planned to meet him in Memphis for his family reunion. Initially his idea, as the date approached and final travel arrangements were being checked off, he began to drift off.

There were less good morning texts, less “I just wanted to hear your voice” Facetime lunch calls, and less checking in during the evenings, leaving my mind to wander, and my inboxes going from unanswered to answered. He’d go hours or even a day or 2 without responding. Finally, I hit him with the “Wassup Mane!?” in my most South Memphis of attitudes!

After going back and forth with me via text playing the dumb role, he finally spit it out……He finally told me that he didn’t know how to tell me, but he didn’t want me dressing “like that” around his family. The wouldn’t be comfortable.

Confused by what I was actually reading, I could only respond with an “Okay” and went on with the rest of my evening.

Again, I’m frustrated because dressing “like that” is how you met me. You told me that “turned you on” so I can’t count on you to defend me in front of your family? Who are you at this point?

The next day game and he started up with the texting, and the calling but received no response from me as I was completely turned off from him. A couple of more days went by with no response from me until I was greeted with the “You must don’t mess with me no-more” text.

Deciding to let him know that I no longer wanted to continue speaking with him, and that my feelings were hurt from his statement, I didn’t wait for him to respond, I ended up blocking his number and deleting him from my social media accounts.

Months later went by and we reconnected someway again but he was different than what I last remembered. At this time, he was wearing the wigs, makeup, and pointy toe heels! I was shocked because I thought his family didn’t want him dressing “like that” and wouldn’t be “comfortable” but yet, he had a new name/persona and was dressing like someone’s Auntie from Raleigh-Millington that was twice removed!

After looking through his pictures, I messaged him to ask him if his family were uncomfortable with his state of style as he relayed those feelings to me months before. Acting completely oblivious to what I was referring to, he denied all of those allegations of his remarks. I’m not sure, maybe his feet were too stuffed in those heels cutting off circulation to his brain, or those waist trainers pulling his internal organs down, but somehow his memory was gone.

Poor thick butch queen in Aldo pumps.

Maybe next lifetime, thick phish!



Stixx I love youComment