"No Fems" Pt 1

Happy New Year again to you guys! I know, I know, Long time, no write.

I was having a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do with this part of my blog, but an a-ha moment hit me! Why not take on the Carrie from “Sex And The City” and write to you all about my personal woes of dating?  Everyone seems to enjoy my hurdles in the dating world anyway, so here goes!

Please note, these stories won’t be in any particular order, so if it happens to be about YOU, no one would ever know.

  • June 2014;

Still being newly single, I was lonely, it was summertime, so why not stick my toe in the dating pool? I decided to download a frowned upon gay “dating” app by the name of Jack’d and give it another swing. In the past, I only downloaded that app when I got wind of my ex-boyfriend cheating on me, and wanted to anonymously catch him in the act. (weird I know. I was REALLY young) I never really used the app to date for myself.

At this time I was living in Augusta, GA and wanted desperately to date outside of the city. After-all, my ex had already sexually exhausted any of my open options, so I changed my location on the app from Augusta, to Atlanta and boy was that the best thing to do!

One summer night in June, I stumbled upon this handsome guy that had a profile written with sense, and he was clean cut and around my age. I immediately messaged him and anxiously awaited his response. We shared a few messages back and forth before I felt comfortable enough to let him know that I was driving up to celebrate me and my bestfriend’s birthday for the weekend. We then agreed to meet that upcoming Saturday.

I was excited about meeting my new found friend but there was a couple of strong details about myself that I had conveniently forgot to express to him. I was still in a sensitive spot about my ex cheating on me with masculine guys after he told me they weren’t interesting to him, and after being turned down by many guys around my current city because of my flamboyant state, my ego and self confidence was a bit scarred. So of course I didn’t tell him about my love for designer bags and heels. Are you insane!?

Saturday came and I briefed my friends of my company coming so that they could leave our hotel suite and give us some alone time. My two friends were fem queens just like myself, so I hurried to hide their wigs, heels, and makeup, all while making sure my suitcase was tightly and neatly secured away.

The guy finally knocked at the door, and I was dressed in my most metro-sexual, masculine outfit I could find. I wore some black pants, and a crisp white shirt I picked up from H&M with the sleeves rolled up at the quarter. The only thing I had to do before opening the door, was find some socks to cover my pink glittered pedicure I’d just gotten.

Finally, I opened the door and was greeted beautifully by this handsome, tall redboned man. I was overly excited. We spent two hours just conversing and even shared a few kisses and warm touches in-between then. It wasn’t time for me to put out just yet, so we ended the evening on a lighter note by walking around the atlanta-dunwoody area and sharing a bottle of white wine over salmon.

The weekend passed, and I was back to Augusta wanting to see my friend again. We were still texting and calling one another, and them BOOM, I slipped up and asked him to buy me a “bag.” He laughed and asked what kind? I sent him a picture of a red Chanel small flap bag I had my eye on. Things then took a turn for the worse.

The guy texted back in all caps; “YOU WEAR BAGS!!!???” Startled at the time, I had to sit there and ponder on the message before texting back to divulge al of my personal interests escalating the situation even more. Finally, after a few minutes, I got the courage to text him back. Either he’d be fine with  my personal style choices, or not. I really didn’t have anything to lose. I texted him back letting him know that yes, indeed I wear “bags” and that I would like a red Chanel small flap bag!

His response afterwards was quite hilarious; “I didn’t know you meant ACTUAL purses. I thought you meant like a nice messenger bag or briefcase, BUT NOT A RASHEEDA CHANEL FLAP BAG!!!”

Assuming he’d only known of Chanel via Love & Hip Hop Atlanta’s Star, Rasheeda, I was really no longer interested really in continuing any communication. After I responded and let him know that I enjoy wearing bags and heels and makeup, he informed me that I wasn’t his type and that he really was looking for someone  who was actually masculine.

Feeling the sting of his texts in my chest, I let him know that his preferences would be respected and that we would no longer communicate from here, and proceeded to delete his number and text thread out of my phone. (You know it’s real when you delete the thread)  

At that point, I couldn’t help but asking myself, “What is masculine about sucking d*ck?”

“No Fems” Pt 1.

Stixx I love youComment